Mean People......

Why are people mean at times? why should people be very mean at times?

In a place where we practice faith, and suppose to 

"forgive and forget" everything, people ae competing among each other,

why, why, and why? I ask the Lord,

Why did he bring me to this place, where it creates a lot of hurt of me.....

In a place, a sacred and holy place, politics are being practiced, 

why??

Im so hurt with what is going on at this place, and at times, i rely feel like giving up,

i question my lord, why did he choose me to be herE? why did he bring me here?

He should have had a reason for putting me here in this place, 

but what was his reason?

To get hurt every other time, someone passes sacarstic remarks?

Haihz......

Still Alive

Itz been quite long since my last post about the problem that i have been going through.

It has not ended, and itz getting worst day by day. 

I have made really stupid mistakes in life, and i want god to forgive me for that. 

When jesus could forgive the people that made him die, the people that were the reason for his death, 

I am sure my loving God will forgive me for whatever i have done.

I am sure God will show me away out of this problem.

I am trying not to give up with life, but i do hope that is not what he has written for me.

I have time till March 10 to stay alive.

Thank God i still have about three weeks.

My valentines

First ever valentines that i spent in a wedding.  My valentines started at 11.55pm on the 13th, when someone special came to see me, 

and this is the first valentines that i celebrated at 12midnight sharp. 

This is also the best valentines for me since, 

i attended my pet brother's wedding, and i partied till i was tired, 

the best valentines ever, something that can never ever leave my memories.

Valentines has never been soo much special to me, but this year, 

celebrating valentines with someone special at 12am sharp, and being able to wish him happy Valentines was God's Valentines gift for me, but Satan too had his gift for me on Valentines night. It was actually After Valentines that my misery started till today..

An unforgetable memory that i will treasure every second of my life.

I would like to thank God, for opening my eyes but i am also dissapointed that God opened my eyes at the very last minute. But Thank god for bringing that special person into my life.

Love is in the air

Brownies

It was the first time that i actually learned how to bake brownies by myself
of course with the help of Jessie...
We used my aunt's recipe, and the cake turned out to be a bit sour,
Jessie, was being the person who actually knew how to modify things,
guess what we did? We added icing on top...
This was really my first time doing that and the only design i knew was henna....
so that was the theme of my brownies, some indian fusion design...
Mixture with mine and Jessie's design.
Of course, my best frenz were the testers, they were the one who had to comment on it...
Their comments were very important to us......
TO my SURPRISE, they actually like it, we took a lot of photos with that...
Cake was fine, the taste was fine, the design was something different......

Sad Days

The time has come for me to give up everything,
The time has come for me to say i Dowant,
I feel sad, I feel that i cant take it anymore, all this while i was trying to hold everything up,
but i just cant, there is up to one level only i can take everything...
All this while, i thought that i was the everything, but today i realize, that I am not,
How can i be with him when i am not as important as others to him?
I feel lonely now,
I feel unwanted,
I feel useless,
How can he treat me this way?
How can he have the heart to do like this to me?
If thats the question, I should be asking myself weather he has a heart or not!!!
All this while, i tought i can take the hurt, but today, when i was left unwanted,
I couldnt take it already...
When i asked him, he said "i was waiting for you to call me"
Why must i make the first move everything??
Itz always me.,,, sometimes i think that he should make the effort to do so.
Life,
what am i suppose to do now?

Relationship

When two people, a gal and a guy is in a relationship,
does it like sound so fun? is relationship meant to be fun?
Well, people say, there are ups and downs in a relationship, but what if there is more downs
then ups?
isnt relationship has to have a balance of ups and downs?
I would really dream to have such a relationship, but i dont,
lucky people deserve such a relationship, as for me, i am a very unlucky person,
i get some ups time in my relationship, but for a person like me,
thats not enough, i feel that i deserve better, but how to
leave a relationship without getting hurt, i just dont wanna go thru more hurt,
i dont wanna hurt the other person, being with me is a great thing for that person,
being with him is also a great thing for me, but what happens when things change,
i feel like just getting out from everything and running away,
i feel like giving up everything, going somewhere, cry cry cry and cry for a long period of time
and then come back to life (reality)
when i come back to reality itz will hurt of course,
stupid mistakess causes heartbreaks,
but why doesnt people understand that?
How many times will they repeat their stupid mistakes?
I am just so fed up with that,
Just when i tot he understands me the best, and he is going to be there for me and with me
forever and ever, thats when he has to change things areound us
make more stupid mistakes...........
LIFE!!!!

Sarcasm

Recently, Sacarsm has been introding my life a lot.
Sacarsm is divided into three,
1)sacarsm funny
2)sacarsm hurt
3)sacarm rude

There is this person / individual who tries to be sacarstic to me, and i think he thinks it is funny, but little that he realize that his sacarsm is really hurtfull, there are times where i am patient with this kind of characters and i put up with them, but there are times when i lose my temper, I dont like to loose my temper when it comes to frenz, and at places where i have my reputation, but situation forces me to...
There is this another individual, who is pushing me up to the wall, i have yet to loose my temper with him, but the day i loose my temper with him will be the day man that he really know who i am
When someone is sacarstic, why do they try to cover it by laughing... well hahaha
what is soo funny when u pass such a rude comment which mite offend that person??