LIFE!!!!!

Sometimes i am sad
Sometimes i am happy
Sometimes i am drowsy
Sometimes i am moody
Sometimes i am scared
Sometimes i am worried

Sometimes i Regret
Sometimes i Fear
Sometimes i Doubt
Sometimes i Give up
Sometimes i Give in
Sometimes i think
Sometimes i Dont

I am always giving in, I am always being a person who is obeying everyone.
I am not living my life the way i want it to be.
I am listening to what everyone else wants me to do except for my own heart and mind.

Sometimes i wonder, did God make me so that i follow how that person wants me to be?

Why should i care,
Why should i fear
Why should i worry?

WHY WHY WHY?????

Why cant i be myself?
Make my own mistakes
Learn from my own mistakes?

Life is made by god, and i can only live in it once,
I wanna make my own mistakes and live life up to the fullest.
I am done of making all those stupid mistakes,
I wanna be the way i am.
Being the original of me.

I wil make the changes in me.
Life is short, and i certainly dowant to waste it!

PD Retreat!!!

The Youths of Divine Mercy Shah Alam had thier retreat after planning for months, infact for years, this plan was intiated from the previous team, but we manage to carry it out.
We faced many obstacles planning out and journeying there actually, but we made it there in PD.
Sessions were great, bonding were great and everything was awesome.
I learnt a couple of things there at the camp.
How to deal with my emotions, and how to keep the fire in me burning.
NEVER get distracted with what people have to do!
I personally like the plate game when it actually tested our patients, weather we were able to work as a team to reach the goal if we had distraction and all.....

In my life, i have sooo many distraction, that is keeping me away, keeping me from reaching to my goals;

I have lost so many things in life, and sometimes i feel that i have made my mistakes, therefore, I regret..... But at times i think, why do i keep doing this to myself????

So, i have learnt, not to cry over the spilt milk, and move on, make changes that will change yourself. Dont dwell in the pass and be very emotional about the problem soo much.

Well, it was a good experience, and i hope that whatever i have learnt i will be able to carry it out in the real world, especially in the youth ministry.
Sometimes, i just need someone to listen to me and my problems, not for someone to listen and advise me....

People!

Individual is the word that says it all.
People are different, and people change. Two things that i should really remember n my life.
Always when i trust someone or people, things turns out to be the total opposite.

The other day, I just had a flash of my life, a mental representation or a image of my life when i was in school, then i realize how much i have changed. I realize that i have learnt my lesson in certain something where there are changes that should be in me. However, I love that i have change soo much from the time i was in secondary school. But somehow, i feel that i am digging my past in to me soo much. I want to talk to those who i stopped talking in the past. Sad, Hurt depressed, and all. I dont know why i miss all those days sooo much.... I am hoping for an answer but there is no answer that is coming. I didnt know that people who would have moved on in life so fast. Why is it like this?

Well the other day when i was in midvalley, shopping this fella said something about my past which i didnt want to remember, he mentioned a name, and at that instance, and at that moment, i just had a flash of memory and how things were at that time.... Curious to know on how they were, i called to find out, and we started keeping contact ever since. But things hasnt change, they are the same way they are, but i am different. At that moment also, i realize that my tamil has gone from bad to worst.. hahahahaha.... hahahahahha....

I just hope that i dont become a problem to anyone... I dowant to become a torture to anyone. Dowant to become a reason for people to fight.....God knows that, but human cant understand that. Why? I am with good intentions. Noting wrong!

Secret behind my name... tell me if it is true!

B : You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
R : You are a social butterfly.
E : You are a very exciting person.
N : You like to work, but you always want a break.
D : You have trouble trusting people.
A : You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

S : You are very broad-minded.
H : You are not judgmental.
A : You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
L : Love is something you deeply believe in.
I : You are always smiling and making others smile.
N : You like to work, but you always want a break.
I : You are always smiling and making others smile.

HUNGER for LOVE

Hunger for love!

this love doesnt have to mean romantic relationship love...

it could be parental love.....

Mother Theresa once said, 

"the hunger for love is much difficult to be remove than the hunger for bread".....

I agree 10o% to that statment. 

Nowdays, parents who are soo stressed up with work, tend to forget/ neglect thier children's need of love and attention...

Well i too experience that..

Its either i dont get thier attention at all, or thier attention goes for something else...

Its common where you see in a household, the youngest is the one who always get the most attention, but at times parents forget that its not the  youngest one who is the one who should get all the attention, thats wrong.... i wouldnt know that because i am not a parent....

But what parent should do is to share thier love equally. Not being a picky parents and having favouritism. 

That term is mostly practiced in school and colleges, 

but why should it be practiced at HOME?

It is not acceptable at all!

Why Cant Parents share thier LOVE????

Children with Lack of Love who has experiences childhood neglect will have invisible scars left that will take a while to heal...  

Children with Lack of Love tend to think that if thier parents think that they are not worthy then at all times thier self esteem goes down.

Lack of Love to have many effects on the individual's life..

For instance, the individual may experience difficulty in Romantic Relationship!!

The self defeating behavior of one, serves to recreate the type of environment that he or she has lived through. In this case, they may have the tendency to fall in love with the partner who are emotionally or physically absent. Somehow this will lead to tolerence since she has tolerated this all her life, from young it is as though she/he has been conditioned to settle for verry little in a romantic relationship.

Simply because they dont feel they deserve better.

This is the exact situation i have been going through.....

I have realize it, but hard to change.

Kya Life Hai!!!!!!!!

Sometimes when i am upset i just look up and  Ask Why me?

Most of the time I dont get my answers!!!!

I think to myself why has god Planned all this for me????

I dont like my LIFE BEING CONTROL!!!!

I dont know why God gave me a life, Why? 

Why did God gave me a life for others to control???

At home i have no peace!!!

Outside  i have no peace!!!

In the Past there was someone to control me,

 now too someone to control me...

The funny thing is my parents are not the one who is controlling....

Parents who are controlling me, not to that extend where someone one else is controlling me...

Betrayal at home....

Is this what i should expect from a sibling!!! 

 A sibling whom i sooo trust, the one and only sibling!

Is a Droghi!!!! Batu Api!!!

The one and only place where i Reli Enjoy is with my close friends.

My B3 Friends....

The Speaky gang...

I dont feel at peace anywhere else..

I dont feel my home is the best place to be anymore.

No where is the best place for me to be execpt college.

In college although there are people i dont talk to, its not betrayal and control.

My friends dont control me whom i should talk to, to whom i shoud be with and everything.

Elsewhere................. no comments!!!!!

Read between the lines.

I pray for a peacefull life...

Or is it by staying single i would be happy? Should i remain being single?

Gosh, Decision nowdays are just sooo hard to make.....

Miserable Days!!!

I am not experiencing the miserable days of my life.....

Holidays has been sooo miserable for me...

Sometimes i just wish that i could pack my bags and go somewhere...

Anywhere will do..

I wish that i was not just seating at home and mengeram telur....

HaHAHAH....